who I am

I used to think that my biggest weakness was something that I needed to apologize for and work on.

That a successful person didn't tear up when things got intense.

So I worked on it. and apologized. and worked on it. and apologized.

and after 10 years there was marginal improvement.

I tried replacement behaviors, satiation, manding for a break, calm down techniques like squeezing my hands and counting to 10.

Yet still I found myself apologizing

 to the social workers who call me “emotionally unstable”

And then Steve Jobs' biography by Walter Isaacson came out.

I read about how the man who brought us our beloved iPhone 

was known for waterworks in meetings.

This made me think...

A short time later a video of Kristen Bell’s recent appearance on Ellen came across my Facebook page.

Her hysterical reaction to an encounter with sloths made me laugh,

then it made me think...

If these two famous people could cry and yet be successful.

Then why was I apologizing?

Now I’m not saying I plan to go around bawling at everything.

I realize that the sight of watery eyes is disconcerting for many,

it might make you feel uncomfortable.

you might not not how to react.

But if Steve Jobs and Kristen Bell could be so passionate about computers or sloths, then shouldn't things like children with autism and their best interests about also be worth a few tears?

Just because I cry when things get intense doesn't mean that I’m illogical or unstable.

I am thinking,

I firmly believe in what I know.

I am stable,

I’m not going to budge because someone says it can’t be done.

Just look what people with passion can accomplish.

I used to think I had to apologize for who I am.

But now I am just going to start with a disclaimer:
You Tube: Kristen on Ellen

“First thing you should know about me, if I’m not between a 3 and a 7 on the emotional scale, I’m crying.” Kristen Bell.